Blending & Mending

Episode 006 - Seriously Old Dirt: Let him handle his co-parenting relationship with HIS EX

The next Seriously Old Dirt episode is HERE! Episode 006: “Let him handle his co-parenting relationship with his ex!”
This topic is such a struggle for so many couples navigating blended family life. Where do the boundaries start and stop? How can you manage a space of co-parenting peacefully with a high conflict ex and how does this all effect the life and relationship YOU are trying to build with your blended family?
I am so proud of this recording. I am so proud of how we can sit on our couch and share our story so openly and honestly. I am so proud of how much we have grown with regards to this part of blended family life.
Hope you enjoy listening to it as much as Tristan & I enjoyed recording it.
Show notes:
- Taking you back to the beginning of our relationship and our first struggles
- My struggles, my need for more support, my need to be a priority in his life, my    need for him to have boundaries with his ex-wife
- How his blind spots and belief systems regarding ‘marriage’ had an impact on us growing as a couple
- “Words verse actions” and building trust
- Where we feel the boundaries should start and stop - How we slowly found our    groove as couple to the point that I could TRUST Tristan and how he would show up for us as a family
- The importance of communicating YOUR needs and boundaries to your partner
- The honest truth… “This is not a quick fix recipe I’m afraid…It takes TIME!”
- Our coping strategies as a couple and blended family and where we are now
 
What to chat more about this topic?
Reach out on my website: www.blendingandmending.com
Follow on Instagram: @blendingandmending
Follow on Facebook: @blendingandmending
Please like, share, follow & subscribe to the below channels. It will help so much to create more awareness on this courageous topic :)
Listen on Spotify: spoti.fi/3KpCaLx
Listen on Apple Podcast: apple.co/3M99vMe
YouTube link: https://youtu.be/_o88V0olR68
 
Music by: @freebeats.io
 

Episode 005 - Second marriage: Do I change my surname again with Rudashni Peters

Second marriage: Do I change my surname again with Rudashni Peters
A podcast on a topic that is so important and yet we just don’t talk about it enough. In this episode we delve into the process of second marriage and IF as a woman you should change your surname AGAIN. Our guest speaker Rudashni, got married in December 2022 and shares her process and struggle in terms of having to change her surname AGAIN... particularly in the context of a second marriage.  
Rudashni Peters, has a background in social work and corporate experience in Executive Coaching, Human Resources & Learning & Development. She is passionate about igniting women and empowering them to share their stories. Rudashni ,reflects on her own experience and the importance of closing the chapter of her first marriage respectfully while embracing a new chapter with her current partner. The decision of whether to change surnames becomes a significant question for Radashni, and she shares her inner struggle with making that choice as well her advice for woman who might be in the same situation to trust their inner voice, choose courage over comfort and daring greatly.  
Podcast show notes: 
Second marriage - 'Do I change my surname again?' 
The shift in the thought process of changing your surname - 'Why does it feel more difficult to make this decision the second time around?' 
"It's more than just a name I got from my ex-husband" - Your name as an extension of WHO you are as a woman, mother and professional 
IF I change my surname - 'How do I explain this to my children?' 
The importance of making the decision for YOURSELF 
A journey of courage over comfort 
Having the hard conversation with your husband - What do you need from your partner to navigate this decision 
 
Reach out on my website: www.blendingandmending.com 
Follow on Instagram: @blendingandmending 
Follow on Facebook: @blendingandmending 
Listen on Spotify: spoti.fi/3KpCaLx 
Listen on Apple Podcast: apple.co/3M99vMe 
Watch on YouTube link: https://youtu.be/_o88V0olR68 
Music by: @freebeats.io 

Episode 004 - Admitting to myself I’m a single parent with Nadine Pillay

Single parenting can be a hard and lonely journey. “Getting through things” was such a central theme to my discussion with Nadine in the most recent podcast episode.
In this episode Nadine, a wellness counsellor and founder of Holistic Options for People Empowerment, discusses her journey of becoming a single parent at the age of 19. Nadine shares how the belief system of wanting to have a family kept her stuck in not admitting that she was a single parent for many years with her holding onto the idea of what happiness, love and family SHOULD LOOK LIKE.
The conversation delves into the process of becoming unstuck and accepting one's situation and how Nadine navigated being a single parent along with all the emotions and responsibilities that come along with it.
She emphasizes the need to not change dreams, but instead reframe mindset and change the plan to move forward. 
 
Episode show notes:
Becoming a teen mom at the age of 19
Impact of belief systems, culture and societal guilt
The moment I realised "I'm a single parent"
The impact of overcompensating for your title of single parent ..."remember...you are enough!"
Accepting what you can and cannot control
The influence of the internal critic
The process of becoming 'comfortable with uncomfortable emotions’
Permission for the '3 Day Dip"
Adult doubts..."Will I ever find love again?"
Words of advice to single parents to embrace their unique family dynamic
 
Thank you Nadine for sharing so vulnerably on this episode.
If you want to connect with Nadine Pillay you can find her on Instagram: @nadinepillay_wellness
 
Reach out on my website: www.blendingandmending.com
Follow on Instagram: @blendingandmending
Listen on Spotify: spoti.fi/3KpCaLx
Listen on Apple Podcast: apple.co/3M99vMe
YouTube link: https://youtu.be/_o88V0olR68
Music by: @freebeats.io

Episode 003 - Seriously Old Dirt with Chants & Tris: How we navigate blended family life

This is Seriously Old Dirt... A podcast segment created for Tris and I to share parts of our blended family life with you while we sip our favourite @vilafonte wine.
Pour your glass of vino or prepare the Nespresso machine for a cup of coffee and share in our stories as we open up about divorce, dating, co-parenting, the kids, parenting styles, what is feels like to be a blended family, our struggles and our hopes for what we can achieve together.
Do we have all the answers - absolutely not! :) ... We are figuring it out along the way and sharing our learnings with you.
Hope you enjoy this episode as much as we loved making it.
Episode show notes:
What we found difficult to navigate as a blended family when we first started out, that now seems a little easier to manage
How we handle and merge different parenting styles in our blended home
How we experienced starting a relationship with a partner who has a child
How our kids have handled and still handle blended family life and what we do to support them
What we are excited for in our future as a family
Reach out on my website: www.blendingandmending.com
Follow on Instagram: @blendingandmending
Listen on Spotify: spoti.fi/3KpCaLx
Listen on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3M99vMe
Watch on YouTube: Blending & Mending: a modern mammas guide - YouTube
Music by: @freebeats.io
 

Episode 002 - The importance of normalising blended family life for you & your child

The importance of normalising blended family life for parents & children is at the heart of this episode. We live in a society where there is still a perception around what a 'normal' family should look like and talk through how we manage this narrative for ourselves as parents and for our children. 
Episode show notes:
Normalising blended families for our children through the stigma of divorce
The importance of being open, honest and transparent with your child(ren) about your family narrative
Creating a space of safety for your child(ren) as they navigate blended life and helping them cope with diversity
Behavioural signs to look out for that your child(ren) need support
Normalising blended family life through the lens of a parent - let go of the guilt, stop making excuses for the other parent & lean into your tribe of support
Acknowledge and understand the identify shift of your family
 
Reach out on my website: www.blendingandmending.com
Follow on Instagram: @blendingandmending
Listen on Spotify: spoti.fi/3KpCaLx
Listen on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3M99vMe
Music by: @freebeats.io
 

Episode 001 - Mom guilt and divorce guilt - Does it ever go away?

Going through a divorce process can be lonely. It's a journey that no one can really ever prepare you for, let alone the emotional rollercoaster of 'mom guilt' and 'divorce guilt' that comes part and parcel with the decision to leave.
In this episode I share my vulnerability and parts of my story. How I navigate mom guilt and divorce guilt and ultimately give myself permission to be happy.
 
Follow me on Instagram @blendingandmending 
Listen on https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-blending-mendings-podcast/id1680000943
 
Music By @freebeats.io